LA in Review

Sorry for the absence of my blog entries, but I've been spending the zero dollars I have in sunny LA. It was nice to get away from NY for awhile, but it wasn't even that warm there. Since the weather was in the 60s we needed to rent our "winter vehicle" the Cadillac Escalade of course. It was so feasible to get a 8 passenger truck for 2 people. The sight alone of two little girls driving this huge monster SUV was just plain ridiculous. I went to LA with the intentions of stalking every celebrity that walked down Roberston. Unfortunately, even with eating at Cecconis, The Ivy and getting into the hottest club in WeHo Mi-6, I only saw two celebrities..Boo Effing Hoo! The first night I was there, Caitlin and I were joined by some friends for dinner at our favorite restaurant, Cecconis. I seated myself facing the entrance so I can see every person that entered and exited the restaurant. Half the time my friends were speaking to me I didn't hear a word that was said or even remotely make eye contact. Right before we were ready to leave, Cedric the Entertainer walked in with an entourage of what looked like "pimps." I was starting the eye rolling because who the hell cares about him.

I got a new view of LA this time around. I think I may have solved the mystery of why everyone is soo rich. The $600 bill arrived for 8 people and instead of just dividing it evenly like normal people would do...the rich bitch who lives in a $170 million dollar house on 12 acres of land put in $60 for her boyfriend and her. At least she even contributed something because the massage guru for Hollywood's A-listers, George, just got up and left before the bill came out and contributed $0. Sure...don't worry Caitlin and I got this. The two people who have the least amount at the table and our other friend will just pay the whole damn bill. I won't be returning to Cecconis until they put the lamb back on the menu anyways. That was the whole reason for my reservation in the first place.

Let's move on to the Ivy. My favorite place for lunch and celebrity sightings. Um I sat there eating and drinking for hours waiting for Caitlin's friends to arrive to see no one other than people from Staten Island. I won't mention names but "seriously" those are the last people I want to see. I noticed they were looking at me as if they recognized me so I quickly threw on some shades and flipped my hair in front of my face. God forbid they walked over to my table while I was seated with Nia Long I would have died. What a beautiful woman she is! If you don't recognize the name...just rent any of the following movies she has been in :

-Friday

-Big Mommas House

-Are We There Yet?

Probably the craziest thing of the weekend was when Caitlin decided to just let the rando man on the street watch our truck. We pulled up to Mi-6 (former Foxtail) and had no cash on us so we couldn't valet like everyone else. We pull around the street to a vacant parking lot where this man is standing by himself and Caitlin decided she's going to make him her personal valet. She drags me out of the car as shes handing the man the trucks keys and tells him to park our truck for us while we try to get into this ultra exclusive club. I was just staring in amazement because who just gives someone who isn't even valet our truck. But of course, Caitlin! Within 5 minutes her and I are passing by all the losers outside on the line and walk right into the club. I recognized it as its former name Foxtail where we had partied a few months earlier. The only new thing about it was that it now had a second floor that looked exactly the same as the first. The paparazzi were all crowded outside so I was kind of hyperventilating. I needed to know who was in there but it was sooo dark I could barely see 5 feet in front of me. Even though I was on crazy stalker mode, I was also freaking out about the whereabouts of our truck. I was sure we were going to walk outside to a vacant spot and find out he drove to Tijuana. Caitlin didn't seem to care as she danced her way through the club. When we finally left the club later on that night, the man had parked the car in a spot and was standing outside of it. What really sucked was that we still didn't have a single $1 on us because we forgot to get cash. I just put my head done as we drove away from this nice man who probably called us every bad name possible =/

The rest of the weekend consisted of us visiting the San Diego Zoo and taking holiday pictures with "Hunky Santa" and regular old fat Santa. This trip kind of proved we can have our own reality show. Caitlin was seriously on a roll...with fighting with every driver on the road to purchasing a $800 costume from Trashy Lingerie as her NYE outfit. I really couldn't make any of this shit up.